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>02. Exhibitionist
She's supposed to be a woman though sometimes she thinks she could be a boy too or simply aseksual or nothing. She is a complexed being who has herself confused often, and thinks if she doesn't make sense, others definitely won't find any sense in her. She's a sufferer of life, being held down by her body and controlled by her mind. She's not clear, straight, direct. She can't nor will ever be. She doesn't have any friends to even believe in the power of friendship. But has one seat open for one best friend who is her dearest as well. Only at this level you may find out the most about her. If you only know her, she'll be superficial, blunt when she's in the mood, or you have to be lucky if you can read through the lines and understand her weird word formulation. She thinks there's only something as getting along or messing up each other life, therefor seeking for friends is a horror. Let the things come to you, especially people. She loves roses though their thornes are painful. Alike her previous romances which are no more than sketelons resting in their graves who she doesn't bother to remember, there's no need to. You can possibly resuscitate if your name starts with an M. or A. Still she wouldn't want a new contract with the past as the excitement there used to be, has disappeared. She avoids and shivers at the sight of most men, with valid reasons. She knows the power of violence well and thinks it's the only good thing she has learnt on her own, to never use it upon others. Too bad she has two blood-related who are ogres by now, who think completely different than she does. Don't think she sits like a Mother Theresa, watching what's coming, come. She now and then takes out her weapons and gives them a thorough cleaning, considering to pull over the trigger which she hardly ever does. To many religions -or the most popular ones- she's fallen for her adoration of the forbidden, what she thinks keeps her busy. She believes in the magic of words, numbers, noises, deeds and so forth and think satanists are rather friendly people, so far she has spoken to a few. She is rather revengeful but knows that what goes around, comes around. It's the policy she lives by and which has shown her satisfactory results. Despite her secluding herself from the opposite gender, she is rather openminded. She likes both left and right. She succumbs to all comparisons you have with her, and all you don't share with her that she still finds interesting. She thinks glaring into pants isn't needed for that. But too intellectual people intimidate her and soon, she finds them boring. What is there special about someone who knows it all? Definitely no mystery whilst that's what she lives for. If you define artist as someone who makes art out of anything, she could be a morbid one who sometimes wishes she could paint the surface of her dearest one day and be able to taste this specific substance. She thinks sometimes she's sickening deep and thinks isolation has been her best prison as pretending soon tires her and may release the hungry lioness (she has seen the light), that wants to feeds herself. She also loves dark humor and feels ill to the state of vomitting by too much optimism. She's not a material girl but a memory collector who thinks 'loverboys' needs to be shot. She often feels the urge to protect the weak or the ignorant though she knows at the end it's their own choice. She doesn't believe in society or participating in it. She thinks she was tricked when she tries to analyze or understand how she got here, in a place that would later prove to not have much to offer. Her weakness is that she's a sponge and fragile, as well breakable as porcelain. Everything matters which has now made her more reclusive than before. She warns you that she's too dreamy and can not keep reality and daydreams apart. It would be a nice surprise if she ever found out, her entire existence was actually fake. |