"There's not much left to love
too tired today to hate
I feel the empty
I feel the minute of decay
I'm on my way down, I'd like to take you with me"

- - -

I refuse to believe this.

I can't find my high school diploma. I need it next Monday because I once again have to pretend I care about getting an education, ie. send away some applications. I can't remember what grades I got. I just can't remeber and I need the exact grades and courses. And I can't find the fucking thing.

I can't believe this because I've lost so many things this year already. And that little piece of paper is important. This won't be the only time I'll need it. Also, I can't find the grades of my finals anywhere. That's two pieces of paper I need and can't find anywhere. I don't get this. I don't understand where they are, how they got there and why I don't know where they are.

I'm so sick of this.
So sick of everything. I don't want to worry about papers. I don't want to deal with anything.
I can't breathe.

- - -

I can't take things like this, you know.