Redback Spider

Other Stuff

which may be of interest

Troll/Idiot Response Form

The troll
Homo braindeadus

Have you just been told that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" for the hundredth time ? Are you pissed off with trolls and do-gooders raising the same, tired old arguments time and again ? This is why I developed the response form - simply tick the items which apply and post and/or e-mail.

[UPDATE March 2005 - Inclusion of this humourous item is for amusement only. It is not intended to imply that I in any way advocate or endorse suicide, euthanasia or suchlike criminal acts.]


Death Dialler


Every now and then the question gets asked on ash/asm: "Is there any software available which can make my computer dial up a number and speak a prerecorded message after a suitable time delay?".

In general terms, the issue of announcing one's death after the event can be a problem. You can post a letter, send an e-mail, or leave a message on someone's answering machine before doing the deed - but what if you don't go through with it ? And what if someone reads their mail earlier than expected ?

It is possible to send a time-delayed e-mail fairly easily on some systems. On systems where this isn't easy, you could use one of those web-based greeting card services which can be instructed to send a card at a certain date (some of these allow you to cancel your message). This is ideal if you just want to send an e-mail, but different people will have different requirements. It's likely that some people will want to send a telephone message - possibly to the emergency services.

[UPDATE March 2005 - Inclusion of this item is not intended to imply that I in any way advocate or endorse suicide, euthanasia or suchlike criminal acts.]

I have looked into what software is available for this purpose and none of it seems very appealing. Most packages are intended for voice-mail, for automated telemarketing, or for those annoying "Press 1 for sales.." menu applications. Most are bloated and complex to set up, yet don't have the features you need (e.g. a long time delay). They also tend to be expensive.

So I decided to write my own:



This is a 32 bit Windows* application written in assembler. It requires Windows 95 or beyond. I haven't created an install file because the program doesn't modify the system in any way. Just Download the ZIP file [31 K], extract the program and help files, and run.

If you want to use a synthesised voice, you may also need to install a text-to-speech (TTS) engine on your computer. Windows 2000 and beyond come with a TTS engine pre-installed, but earlier versions do not. For copyright reasons, I don't have any TTS engines on this site, but they may be downloaded (free) from a number of other sites. You can obtain the Microsoft TTS Engine from Impulse Technologies and there are a number of different TTS engines for a variety of languages available on WebSpeakster

[* Yes, it's Windoze-only. I'm assuming that those who use M$ software will be more likely to want to kill themselves and less likely to have adequate software available to help them.]

Paranoid ?

If you are scared that this software may be booby-trapped in some way, then please download and inspect the full source code [60 K ZIP file].

File Encryption Software

[This software is now a bit long in the tooth. I don't suppose too many people use DOS applications any more. I've included it here just in case anyone is interested.]

I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough ?

If you share a computer (or have flat-mates/parents/children, etc. who may otherwise spy on you), and you wish to archive ash posts, methods data, or suicide notes, then perhaps you should consider using encryption. Encryption is also a good option if you have sensitive information (such as a personal diary, or e-mails to someone) that you don't want to be found after your suicide. You could always destroy this information, but you might regret it if your attempt fails.

[UPDATE March 2005 - Inclusion of this item is not intended to imply that I in any way advocate or endorse suicide, euthanasia or suchlike criminal acts.]


This software (which is written in assembler, so it's less than 3K long) is a DOS program which performs full 128 bit IDEA encryption on files. An arbitrary length key or pass-phrase is required for encryption and decryption.


Download IDEA.ZIP [Contains IDEA.COM and a help file IDEA.TXT]

Last updated: Mar 14th 2005 All death threats to: Grey Knight

unfortunate people and spam-bots have visited this page since Jan 12th 2001