******** Alt.suicide.holiday Troll/Idiot Response Form V1.06 ******* You made the following unfounded assertions: [ ] Things will get better [ ] god/jesus/allah/krishna/harvey loves you [ ] Life is priceless/precious/a gift/good/fun/not as bad as all that [ ]I love you/care what happens to you [ ] You will hurt your family/friends/society/god [ ] You are just looking for attention [ ] You are all sick/crazy/evil/murderers/perverts [ ] Suicide is the easy way out [ ] Suicide is a selfish/stupid/wasteful/cowardly (etc etc) act [ ] Killing yourself is Evil/You will go to Hell [ ] Nothing is worse than killing yourself [ ] I am qualified to preach to you because I have attempted suicide myself/have had a friend/relative kill themselves/seen someone suicide/once heard about a guy who killed himself [ ] You are not qualified to talk about killing yourselves because you are all still alive And/or you suggested the following course(s) of action: [ ] Don't do it [ ] Talk to someone first [ ] e-mail me* [ ] Just snap out of it/learn to deal with your problems [ ] Go for a walk in the park/listen to the birds singing/smell a flower/watch the sun rise/perform some other irrelevant action [ ] See a psychiatrist/psychologist/psychoanalyst/witch-doctor [ ] Just take some prosac/lithium etc. [ ] Fall in Love [ ] Find god/jesus/allah/krishna/harvey etc. [ ] Put me in your will/send me all your money/have sex with me/let me film your death, etc. [ ] Kill one or more other people first [ ] What are you waiting for, just go ahead and kill yourself * = Considered to be a formal request for Linux source, core dumps, etc. And/or your post contained the following logical fallacies: [ ] Argument from authority and/or special pleading [ ] Assuming what you seek to prove and/or proof by assertion [ ] Non sequitur or other irrelevant argument [ ] Ad hominem [ ] Bare-faced lying, extreme stupidity or obviously false statements [ ] Post was so incoherent that no logical argument was detectable And/or your post contained other inappropriate material: [ ] Threats, abuse or other obnoxious behaviour, including {{HUGS}} [ ] Deliberately false or misleading methods information [ ] A mistaken assumption about the nature of this newsgroup [ ] It is to do with holidays [ ] It's purpose is to talk people out of committing suicide [ ] It's purpose is to talk people in to committing suicide [ ] Spam or other advertising, including offers of counseling and promises to kill people for money (Note: Normally spammers will not be dignified with any response at all) [ ] A religious tract, political manifesto or conspiracy theory [ ] Other form of demented ranting ******************************************************************** WE HAVE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. Read the FAQs before posting again. ( http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2150/intro.html and http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2150/std.html ) If you do not do this, you run the risk of annoying a large group of suicidal people, which you will soon discover is not a good idea. ********************************************************************