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Suicide
Scribbled down on Wednesday, 17 August 2005 15:27:00 PM |
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Life is a horror. When you think the pain will end, it may be beginning. I have no idea what will happen to me after death. I spent today finding stories of people who have experiences with it and it only led me to find more christians sites who say this is wrong, that is wrong. Not one single story of someone who attempted suicide is positive. Not even the interpretations or views. Nothing is logical, even we all think logical here. I can't believe, I can impossibly believe that escaping this life, will only lead me into one worse. It's very easy to talk guilt and fear on me, I'm sensitive after all. I used to read books of a famous American writer who radiated something soft, he also had very interesting views. One thing that I like about the Bible and hate about this writer now is that the bible is a free book. This author who also writes about the words of a peaceful, nicer, caring Higher Being, refuses to have his words copied and published elsewhere (for example, for a friend to read or someone else). Especially large passages. You may only recite a quote, here and there. That's all. So it's clearly he wants to profit from people and have a full pocket. And if the 'One' (refering to God) can do miracles, this writer wouldn't feel the need to say these things. The Lord would find ways to keep his fund (or whatever he needs), the existence of this little charity alive. He would find his way around, needing money is a lack of security. He needs it to be sure that the project he's doing can stay alive. Now, where's the source you say helps you in any time? Hypocrite. Never trust people. You can't trust anyone. I don't know who I can trust. And what I wished was impossible. I didn't want to be alive, nor dead. But you can't achieve such. If I wanted that, then I shouldn't have been here in the first place to finally have to experience the inevitable anyway, which is death. If suicide is wrong, and enduring the pain of life is a must, then it seemed you could only isolate yourself and wait till it ended without ever being in touch with humanity (they only bring destruction). Would that be cool, or will you be punished for that too? Who does think or invent such stupid things? How can it be acceptable to tolerate an abuse? I don't understand. I can't comprehend. So I mailed this author to ask him for his thoughts or those who replies his messages, on suicide. He never replied. |