I honestly don't know.

I might come back.


There's one annoying thing with crosswinds.net. It doesn't let me update late at night. This really is because of the time. I've tried to do it often enough to notice. I suspect that there's too much traffic or something, and that slows the connection down to next to nothing. And then, of course, there are the other server problems, times when the whole damn thing is down for hours. Thankfully, this usually happens at daytime (CET) so I need not to worry about that (because I'm not often on-line daytime). So the point of this ramble is that I'm not responsible for not updating even if I said I would, because certain things are simply out of my control. And as annoying crosswinds sometimes is, I'm too lazy to go and find a new server that'd be nearly as good as this one (despite the problems) and without pop-ups. No pop-ups is important (and there's no way I'd actually get my own domain).
So you all just have to get along with the server, just like I do. And remember to bitch at crosswinds, not me, if you don't get what you were expecting to (which, I suspect, is nothing [but perhaps that's just too cynical...]).


The updates are now on Updates page. The spoiler is on Disclaimer page.
I have no idea what I'm going to achieve from this re-organatization, but at least I had something to do for a while.

I haven't put these 'informative' pages on updates. They might change, might not. Usually when something else changes. I didn't bother to put them there because it a) screws up the look of the updates- page b) it isn't that important. No one's going to read them anyway.
I figured that only the ones with some sort of self-expression matters. This is just rambling. Although everything else's just rambling, too. Well, I have to ponder this. Maybe I should include all of my pages there.
Right now it isn't that important, though.


I shall be away for a while so excuse this mess. I'm in the middle of changing a few things around here, cleaning up a little but I don't feel like it right now and I'm in a hurry already (I have so many other things I should do right now). So you'll have to wait till I come back (presumably Saturday). Perhaps I'll have time to finish this off then.


"Here is a page
from the emptiest stage
a cage or the heaviest cross ever made"
- Depeche Mode.

(I couldn't resist, I had to put this somewhere.)


Mind you, I don't (usually) write these entries. I mean, I just put my thoughts down, I don't edit them, I don't really think them through. That's why some entries might not make that much sense. Writing this is a way to clear my thoughts, I'm not trying to communicate in the traditional sense, or even represent my thoughts to others.
This place is highly personal and probably not very interesting because of that. (Which is a shame, really, because I wouldn't mind being interesting ;) ) I also use this place to get used to people. It sounds ridiculous, perhaps, but I'm rather avoidant from time to time and I'm pretty much incapable of having 'normal' human contact in real-life. Having a site makes me visible (in a way at least), and it's visibility I need to get used to. It doesn't really matter how I do it, so having a site is just as good as going for a walk (although this is easier).
Also, I need to vent sometimes, and that's what I'm doing here because I don't really need to talk to anyone. I'm also lacking people to whom I'm want to talk to but after writing a diary excessively for years, I've finally noticed the urge to share. Having a website means a possibility to share even if no one ever visited this place or read anything I've written. The possibility is more important than reality. And I'm pretty proud of having learnt to write html and it does do wonders to my self-esteem :)


There's no need for coherent sentences. That's my motto and it should be yours, as well. So don't come complaining to me when something I say doesn't make any sense. I don't care, the sentence doesn't care and neither should you.


This is the fifth version of this page on this particular address. It's almost exactly like the older ones, too. The contents are different, but the layout usually has only different fonts and colors. Woo.
I did a little experiment with frames in the earlier version. I dislike frames. They're annoying and disturbing and I only had them because I wanted to show off (really, I had to...), to demonstrate I had bothered to learn to do them.
My ability to compose frames is currently being used on another page (which isn't mine). I was glad to kick them out, actually. I'm old-fashioned. I want my pages as simple as possible (and hopefully more viewable, even).

I'm probably going to upload some of my (rather crappy) paintings for public ridicule but it will take some time. I need to scan them first and stuff like that.

I had thought of something else to say here but I forgot what it was.
If you, on the other hand, have anything to say (or even if you don't),
drop me a line.