(16.5.00)

The dreams were weird. Not only this one but all of them. This one woke me up though. So I suppose it's worth telling.

I woke up, in that dream. I was still sleeping in my last room, for some reason. I woke up and was about to walk downstairs to the bathroom when I realized my arms were full of cuts. They weren't deep but there were a lot of them. My arms, both of them, were literally covered by cuts. I couldn't see any blood though. They were deep enough to have normally bled but they didn't. My skin looked like old leather that had been ripped apart. I didn't feel any pain either. That's why I hadn't noticed them before. When I reached the shower and took my shirt off I saw a part of my back in a mirror. My both sides and about half of my back were full of cuts too. The rest of my back was covered in holes. They were small, some 5 mm in diameter and very very deep by the look of it. The holes and the slashes in my back were deep enough to bleed properly. My back was soon covered in blood.

I couldn't remember making the cuts and I couldn't figure out how the holes were made but I figured I must've done them myself. So I put some clothes on and decided to not tell anyone. A t-shirt seemed to be sufficient to stop them from bleeding. I could still feel no pain.
I stumbled around the house and took a walk with my family. I think we went clothes-shopping or something. This is a bit fuzzy. I have one image of sitting on a staircase and my sister was upstairs, trying something on and asking my opinion on it while my father whined that he couldn't stand shops.

At some point we got back home. The cuts were still bleeding, especially the holes. It worried me, I thought I probably should go and get them stitched. So I decided to risk it and tell my mother about them, stressing the fact that I didn't know how they had appeared. To my surprise she just laughed and told me the cat must've done them. When I tried to object because we didn't have a cat, she threw something in the air. It hit the floor which produced a loud thumping sound and then a few seconds later I could hear another sound. This later sound scared a cat out of its hiding place and out of its mind and it started running around the room. I hadn't seen the cat earlier, we don't have one (or so I thought). My mother thought that it was all the explanation I needed but I tried to argue that the cat would've woken me up. I tried to ask her what the later sound had been but she just said it was an echo. I didn't believe her and I was really getting worried because she kept smiling. I thought she was hiding something and I really panicked when I realized that there must be someone in the house who wanted to harm me. She told me that if I was worried I could go and show the cuts to my shrink the next time I saw her. I was upset enough to tell her I had walked out on her in the middle of the last session and that I had no intentions of going back. She started laughing and I run back to my room (the one I live in now) trying to escape the laughter but the sound circled in the air and followed me. (Really, the laugh had a shape and a color and it wouldn't leave me alone).

Then everything got a bit blurry and I woke up.

back.