22. 3. 2000

I took Keirsey's character sorter again. I'm nowadays iNTp. I was iNFp for a while but now I'm back to iNTp. I'm actually quite happy about it :) I don't know if I fit the description though. To some degree, perhaps.

Anyway, now I should be a rationalist and get up and do stuff.

A e-mailed me the other day. There was the usual whining, admitting I had been right (like that had been a surprise, I seem to know more about her than she does). I haven't bothered to reply yet because I really don't know what to say. I'm not feeling emphathetic, especially when she knew from the beginning what it was going to be like and didn't bother to do anything about it. So it's up to her and I just don't give a shit. It's her own life. If she can't bother to understand things and (re)consider things then it is her fault. It's not like I am responsible for her ill decisions.
To put it shortly, I told her so.

She pisses me off majorly. I'd understand if it was something she can't influence but...
Uh, better not. It's not my life.

*moving on*

I read alt.support.cancer yesterday (mainly because there were no posts in alt.support.dying-well) and found one post where the writer preached about how unprepared people are for death even if it's a completely natural thing. Otherwise he had a point but then he started mixing religion into it. He figured it might be because they don't teach religion in schools anymore. Duh.
But in a way he has a point. If people (christians, mind you) believe in forgiving god and heaven and such, why the heck are they afraid? They shouldn't be, considering all the good things they believe there lies ahead of them. Why be shocked? Why be afraid?
No one thinks about dying nowadays, it seems. Then it's like alightning struck them when they suddenly hear they're going to die (like they weren't going to die before... Jesus). Someone suggested somewhere that this would be because they dying happens in hospitals nowadays. People don't get used to it, they don't understand it happens to everyone, not just to those faceless unknown people who are in hospitals. Death is isolated, in a way. It doesn't happen naturally. No one thinks of it as a natural order of things.
I'm very much overgeneralizing here, sorry for that. It's just that it seems like people take death as something horrible and unnatural which it isn't at all.

I bought Blue Öyster Cult's cd not so long ago in a store with a chatty owner. He thought that it was interesting I bought the cd because according to him it's music fifty year old people listen to him. He asked how I had happened to come accross buing it. I muttered something like someone had recommended it. I couldn't possibly tell him that in a.s.h one track on the cd was recommended for killing oneself. It might have been a bit... uncanny.
Don't fear the reaper, yeah.... :)
The cd is absolutely wonderful even though I'm not (currently) going to kill myself (listening to it). I seem to have abandoned the idea of suicide again. It's a bit of a disappointment, actually. I always hope i could complete it, just because that'd mean I get something done. But apparently I'm not willing to kill myself to get something done. Oh, ramble.
I'm off to study now.

Index.