17.4.2000
Right.
I haven't been around for a few days, like you might have noticed.
I haven't exactly felt like writing anything and I've been busy,
even. Nothing's happened except that I've gotten a few things
done. Not much but enough.
So, I'll be gone for a few days again. I should be back by Friday
but I expect that to be sometime late in the evening so I
probably won't feel like doing anything else than crashing to bed.
So you can expect the next entry on Saturday, at the earliest.
I won't have such a problem
with my arm as I earlier thought I would. It has healed much
better than I expected. And anyway, I've gotten used to hiding
all sorts of wounds from other people. I was in hysterics over
cutting at all, and apparently that caused me to make a wrong
estimation about the depth of the cuts. They were much shallower
than I thought them to be. Also, they've healed better than my
cuts usually do. I have no idea what's up with that but they have
and I'm grateful for that.
I think, though, that I'd better stop doing this. I just need
something else to do instead. Dunno. But there are easier ways to
get rid of negative feelings. Easier on the long run.
There's
a few changes I should make but I don't have time to do them now. The webrings have to wait. I'll join (if they let me in ;) ) them when I get
back (there's little point in doing that now when I won't
be here to update). I also have a few other things (and a few
corrections) I'd like to put on this site but I'm too
tired, head-achey and plain lazy right now. I don't have much to say
today. (As if that wasn't obvious.) I'm going to be back in a few days (unless I die or something, but I'm not really planning on that). Maybe I'll see you around.
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"Well, he's a little wracked with anxiety," said Mary. "I mean, I'm bad but at least I have my cut-off limits. Catatonic shock, I believe they call it. He just doesn't know when to quit worrying, you know? He has no sense of humor. The other day I threatened that I'd run the hat into the sun and destroy us all and he just kept crying and carrying on. He never got forceful with me, he was just pathetic. You know? It's like he'll destroy himself over the tiniest little things but would never think to start destroying other people. That's pretty sad, really. When you think about it." (An extract from the Fantastic life and Suicide of Mr. Mary Holiday [currently off-line]) |