1.4. 2000
My pelvis feels broken. I
took a walk, that's why. And it wasn't any ordinary, easy walk,
it was that kind of walk that I do. The 'it's two feets of snow
on the ground but I have to go out and walk in the woods without
following the path and get wet to my tights and get lost and end
up 3 miles from where I thought I was and six miles from home'.
That type of a walk. Now I'm back and I couldn't move for the
first hour I was back here because my legs ached so much.
I'm not fit. I don't go out and I don't do sports. I almost never
take walks, especially not walks like this. The snow was fucking
wonderful, partly it was hard enough to let me walk on it but
partly it just gave in under my weight and gave me a nice and
welcoming hug. I got my boots full of snow by the time I had
gotten lost and stopped crying (which wasn't the time when I
turned back).
I had to get out though so that's why I was there, and I was
feeling too terrible to stand seeing any human being (one couple
was there, but they were the only people I saw for the whole
three hours) so that's why I went for the woods. I was also in a
sufficiently horrible mood to stop every once in a while to beg
god to kill me. So I didn't watch where I was going.
Yeah. At least I got exercise.
I hate April Fools' day. The jokes are never funny and I always get really paranoid and think that everyone's trying to wind me up.
My life's too dull to write about today.