2000-10-13

Anna emailed me after I finally told her my email address. She wrote something about how much things have changed. It's typical of her to to assume that because she/her surroundings have changed, things have changed for other people too. The bad things is, however, that she hasn't changed one bit if my evaluation is correct. (Neither have I, or at least I haven't changed to any good direction.)

I don't know if people are capable of changing. I only assume that they're capable of deteriorating. This far I haven't seen one person change into anything 'better'. (There might be one exception, but I'm not sure of it yet.)

Anyway, I haven't bothered to answer her because I'm fed up with her after talking to her too long on the phone on Tuesday/Wednesday (I'm such a good friend, am I not?), but that isn't the case with anyone else I owe (e)mail to. I'm not ignoring you, and I apologise, but I'm just so very tired most of the time that I can't form a sensible thought in my head.

I don't know why I'm angry at her, actually. It's probably just that I'm used to get rid of (negative) emotions by getting angry at people and it just happens to be she who's available as a target this time.

I've been offered space with insecurities.org. It's tempting in many ways. I've made up my mind to abandon diaryland anyway, because it bores me. Well, I lasted almost two months. (That's something, isn't it?) Oh, I don't know... one advantage of it would be that the host would know (possibly) to delete my things after I've gone. If I reside on free servers, no one kicks me out if I die and the things remain. It's likely that I wouldn't delete the accounts. I haven't even deleted ~boxed even if it's pretty much abandoned.

And I always come back anyway... I think I just like torturing myself.

(Oh, I'm definitely out of crosswinds for good. They have pop-ups. *shudder*)

 

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