19.9.2001

Today I did two things I'm not very proud of. First, I made myself throw up all the food I ate today, secondly, I bought razor blades and cut with them. I'm sick and tired of justifying it to myself, so I guess I'll only say I had a bad day. I must have had.
Oh, I dunno. I feel so old. I didn't mean to end up like this. I suppose I just wanted something different. I don't know. It's been... bad, in some ways. I don't quite know what to say. I just wanted... to tell this to someone. Nobody listens though. And I suppose I shouldn't mind. And, well, I really don't know if all this is worth it. Last night I thought it would've been a good night to kill myself. I don't know why. everything's just hazy and unreal, and I want out of this life. And I'm not even sure why.