"You sound like you need a cuddle." A.A to a 'bot on aavfff.

21.5.2000

Ever have those kind of moments when you read something someone else has written and you don't know whether to laugh or cry or both because it's so familiar? When everything you read is almost exactly how you feel (it feels like it anyway, although that's actually a question of projection rather than absolute truth) and it really makes you feel a million times better because you know (=you think you know) you're not alone?
It' slightly odd. That happens to me sometimes and it always makes me want to say something. Because those entries are important, and you're thankful that the author bothered to write it down. There's just nothing to say. Things can have a huge impact on you and still leave you inable to describe them accordingly. Which is terribly annoying, of course.

The thing that surprises me is that in the end, the people in the western culture are very much the same. There may be slight cultural/personal differencies, but there are the same type of people in every goddamn country. The more I read things people from quite different cultural (though western) background have written, the more it starts to feel like the world is in fact a very big kindergarten with a lot of clones. There's a few distinct types of people and a million (very slightly, if at all, different) clones of them. They're all the same. There's a few copies of me out there, somewhere, I'm quite sure. It's possible, if not likely, that there are people out there who are like me in both physical and mental sense. There's so little variation and so many people (although they try to say that 'everyone's unique'...).

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Mind you, I've dreamt a whole lot of R. lately. She's been present in some way in every one of my dreams for the past week. I don't know why, though. I've been thinking of her but not that much. Last night I wanted her to teach me Basque. She doesn't speak Basque. *shrugs and shakes head*

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I don't know what it's about food. There are days when I just can't eat anything. Even the thought of food makes me feel ill. It's very impractical because I need to eat. So I have to watch it carefully on days when food means something evil, and patiently wait for the minute or two when I don't resent food so much. Because if I don't eat then, I'm doomed. The lack of food makes me increasingly nauseous (making it even more impossible to eat anything) and when my blood-sugar is low enough I'll just sit somewhere and cry (unless I faint). I try to drink a lot though. Juices are pretty helpful because they help to keep the blood sugar on a bearable level (hence my extraordinary use of apple juice). I used to consider starving myself to death, actually. It seemed like a valid option, and quite easy (in a way) as well.
And this trivia had nothing to do with anything again.

I need to re-do my links. I don't read most of those journals anymore.

Index.