24.4.2000

I was never able to convince myself that I'd make everyone a favour by killing myself. I found it extremely hard to believe. However, I still think I'm lame. And that I'd make myself a favour by killing myself. Because then I didn't have to stand myself.

Duh.
Anyway.
My sister was supposed to come here today but apparently she isn't going to do that. I don't know why. I don't know why she would've come here.

I meant to write a rant about music and another about my sister but I'm too lazy to do them now.
Instead, I wrote this.

I've exceeded this month's internet hours. It's a deal we made, one hour per day, no more. It costs too much otherwise. I just checked and I've spent 28 hours on-line already. So I have 2 hours for the rest of the month. I won't be surfing a lot, I think...

Anyway, I downloaded ICQ. I don't know why, actually. I doubt I'll ever use it. I used to have a yahoo messenger (I think it's called) last year. It was when I was part of some yahoo clubs and I even used it a bit which was an accomplishment when it comes to me. Unfortunately talking to other socio-phobics can be a little weird. Anyway. I liked it better than talking to lots of other people I've never even heard of. I got rid of all of the yahoo- thingies when I decided I'd kill myself last Nov. I didn't even try, actually. I was way too down to do anything other than plans.
Anyway, this is my social peak this year.

You're allowed to put your interests and other information about yourself there. The first thing that annoyed me was that as far as I could tell, they only allowed me to list three languages. I would've wanted at least four, perhaps five (I'm really really not sure about my skills in Germany). Then, I never bothered to list my interests but I bet there's nothing like the psychology behind trollish behavious, death, psychiatry for non-professionals, linguistics, general weirdness and black humour. I'd imagine ICQ is a bit too devoid of imagination to have that kind of stuff. I haven't bothered to find out, of course. Perhaps you're actually allowed to write whatever you want.
Oh, and my uin would be 71775652.

Easter is annoying. We don't get newspapers, shops are closed, nothing happens. Some of my mother's aunts are coming by today. Yuck.

Index.