2001-09-12 I ache for you sometimes. I'm just so sure you'd know and understand, you'd know how to help me through this. I'd trust you with my life if it ever came to that. But I don't even try to write you a letter and send it because I don't know what to say. I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what you're doing now. And basically I just don't want to bother you. My problems aren't so important. But you're the only adult I've ever looked for help, and you continue being that one. Sometimes I need reassurance so badly I ache. And you continue being the one I look up to, the one I trust and love even if I don't know you anymore. And that's what makes it so bad, that I don't know you anymore. There's no reason to think of you, when you won't think of me, but I'm lost without you. I don't know what to do without you. I can't give up the thought of you because that'd leave me with nothing. And I need something to count on. Someone to count on. God knows I tried to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you. And I never quite succeeded in that. I couldn't do it, like I can do it now. I've changed, grown up a bit. But not much. Not enough. I still need you. | older aion spindrift e-mail my profile diaryland.com