7.10.2000

Overwhelming sadness. It grips my stomach and squeezes. Squeezes hard.

I hurt, I assume, but I'm still not sure. The thoughts have wings and I can't touch them.

My head boils.

I should I should I shouldIshouldIshouldIshouldiSHOULD

[...]

It's too much.

Too rapid. Too generated. Too artificial.

Jesusgodhelpmei c a n ' t b r e a t h e

Cool. Coolness. Cold. Coldness. Gold. Goldness.
I can't breathe.

Wake me. Please.

Why do you smile? It isn't a good thing that I am alive.
What I tried... should I tell? You don't want to hear. You don't want to comprehend.
Or do you?
Failing this time means that there needs to be a next time.
There will be a next time.
Why did you smile?

I will choke and burst before I die.