24.3.2000

My sister's coming home for the weekend. I don't know why. She never comes home for weekends.

I should get my act together and go asking for a summer-time job. It's not like I'll get anything but at least I can try. At least I should try. I'm one of those spoiled kids who have never had a job in their entire lives ( excluding those summers spent working under my mother's surveillance, by 'my own free will' where there was no salary and no 'real work' included. ) Worse still, I haven't ever even applied for one. That's mainly because I've been way too tired to even consider working during the summer. And because I don't really need any money, except maybe for cds. Thinking of it depresses me actually. It's terrible to feel this lazy and useless. It's not like everyone else I know had a job either. Not even the ones with a proper training. It's worderful to live in a place with a high unemployment rate. But I could always get something. Maybe.
I have a 3 £ gift certificate for an on-line bookstore but I have no idea what to buy with it. At first I thought I'd buy Geo Stone's 'Suicide and Attempted suicide: methods and consequences' (or something like that) but it costs way more than the gift certificate. I've been thinking of buying it before so I'd get a discount on it though. That way it might be sensible. But it's possible that my father wants to know how I used his gift certificate so I have my doubts. It's that I don't really need anything right now. I have all my entrance exam books and I'm not enthusiasted with buying fiction when I can borrow it from the nearby library (where I never go nowadays because I have no interest in reading fiction). And it's hard to buy fiction on-line unless I know what I want because there are never very clear descriptions of the book and I'd obviously rather buy something I like than something I'll hate. And I won't know that until I've read the book. So I'd need to read it before buying.
It's too bad they don't sell cds there.

I finally changed my mouse cursor to a left handed one. It doesn't look as weird as it did when it was a 'normal' one. It was disturbing, actually, I got my hands all mixed up at some point. I have a rather severe righ-left confusion (which is also known by a rather charming medical term of 'allochiria') anyway and changing my mouse to my left side without changing the cursor settings made it definetely worse. However, my right wrists was very pleased even with those conditions. Now my brain's happy too. Yay. I'm getting all shiny-happy soon. Or not.

Here's some Basque for you:
etorri natzaio - I have come to (meet) him
etorri nintzaio - I came to him
etorri natzaik - I have come to you
etorri nintzaik - I came to you
etorri hatzaio - you have come to him
etorri hintzaio - you came to him

I'm so not multilingual it hurts.

I never dream in English. There was some talking about that in fr.lettres.langue.francaise a few days ago. How you're not truly bilingual unless you dream in that language. However, I hardly ever dream in Finnish either. Most of my dreams are mute. Sometimes (although very seldomly) I hear music on the badkground, sometimes I wake up because the music (only) in my head is too loud. But there's never talking. Only thoughts that everyone can hear or even see. They aren't in any language, they just exist. It's like telepathy, actually. Anyway. Like this had any importance at all.

I should go to sleep.

Index.