Awefulest to happen Scribbled down on Wednesday, 9 November 2005 12:51:18 PM
Yesterday he sniffled in my drawes and found a letter which had certain things written on it. He found out I was contemplating suicide. I got a horrid void sensation. I suddenly froze in time and couldn't do anything than panic and grab the information back while he was about to let my mother read it behind closed doors. I HATE him with all my heart. I despised that prick and hoped he would someday get what he deserved best. To suffer AS MUCH as he made me suffer. How I wanted to kill him, I swear if I could get away with it I might've. I'm getting incredibly wrathful and vicious. I want to destroy that shit. I seriously want to. To make it worse: the asshole called 'dad' (I don't like titling him as 'my father'). I'm incredibly terrified but it's my fault, even he AGAIN evaded my privacy. He should be sued or being thrown in jail. Now I'm entitled a sicko who needed to go to the looney bin. I got humiliated terribly last night and couldn't sleep for thinking he may be there again to find out stuff about me. God, I fucking hate myself. I wished I could brainwash them to forget this so I could go peacefully. Now they will be watching me which increased my paranoias. I'm so screwed, fuck. This is so unfair. Life, for how long will you carry on betraying me? For how long will I carry on being in chains? This is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream... *repeats till fade*

«« death taking place -- prisoned by life »»