Not sure Scribbled down on Sunday, 7 August 2005 9:28:30 AM
Not sure what will happen this week, probably nothing. I shouldn't blame anything, probably just not count on anyone. I am spilling so much fluids daily now... to my disappointment. It's like I'm hoping anything will be as before but maybe they won't. I also just woke up... I went to bed around 4, I was watching RB and saw this name... for awhile I had to smile. I like that name even bad things started going around in my head again. At the moment it's half past nine. Cold as hell, doesn't matter if they say hell has flames. That's a fantasy. It's cold. If there's a hell, it should be cold, not hot. I find it tempting to use.. my tarotcards... or those playing cards. The playing cards are more helpful as I know their meaning from books but tarotcards can be interpreted differently in all situation. They never mean the same... I won't either... I don't think I'd be satisfied or find the answer bearable.

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