Bad reaction Scribbled down on Tuesday, 23 August 2005 4:11:30 AM
I woke up. Was it that the world suddenly had a different structure? Was it painted now? I turned on my right side to be convinced different and felt how a stomach cramp turned along with me. As I started to release myself of a dream, a nausea attacked me. 'How come' I wondered. Not that I never have nauseas. I often have it when I don't eat, in the early morning or because I ate something that simply I needed to avoid. I remembered what I ate. Not what you would eat though at night. I was terribly hungry I ate 4 slices of bread. Two with cheese. I thought my mum was going to prepare a tuna salad, so I said 'alright, I'll have a bit of that too'. Thanks mum. She didn't prepare any tuna salad. But something that could be the reason I am sick now... or it could be the anti-depressiva my doctor gave me. Citalopram needs to be taken at night, even I can't say when precisely but I took it before sleeping. I woke up showing these symptons: *I'm shaking *I have a headache *I have stomachaches *My stomach burns *I feel dizzy *I feel sick *My nose is running *I have diarrhea *I'm getting tearyeyed to the point I feel like everything can come out of my eyes or from whatever part of my body :-s *I feel like burping the whole time *Abnormal thoughts: I'd describe such thoughts as having your mind holding up an image before you sleep and having you dreaming all night about it. Like for example: You saw a sheep on tv. So in your dream, you dream of sheep in the sky, sheep in the room, sheep there, sheep here. A sort of obsessive thought. Except it's not violent as I sometimes have. It only happens when I feel fragile or sick. I doubted about what medication to use to help me against the pains. I wanted to take ibuprofen for the tummycramps but instead I used one of the pills I have left to prevent me from having diarrhea. These are my current medication stats I'm on and I will not proceed with antidepressiva's for sure: *Microgynon 30 (birth control pill: recommended because of cramps I have during my periods) *Ibuprofen 200mg (for all possible pains I have I havent told a doctor about) *Paracetamol/Telynol (500mg, only a substitute for Ibuprofen if I don't have any) *Loperamidehydrochloride 2mg (against diarrhea) *Diclofenacnatrium 25mg (it was a painkiller after my surgery) *Oxazepam 10mg (I only used 10 of the pills, to calm me) *Chlordiazepoxide 10mg (substitutes Oxazepam and seems to be stronger, I won't be using it either) *Citalopram 20mg (anti-depressiva) Updated 8th October: * Efexor 75mg (replacing Citalopram, used one pill) * Diazepam (Valium) 2mg (haven't used it yet) I bought a few pills I have never used, they are not worth listing. I'm really sick and I'm sleepy. I didn't manage to finish my previous entry as I got tired. I don't think overdosing would help me to get rid of this life. I felt sick already by one stupid pill. That is, if it's the reason I'm feeling this way, if it's not what I ate. I hope I will vomit to have everything out and clean my stomach. I know I never do so. I haven't in so many long years. It could be that cheese doesn't mix well with tuna. I should've known and I do crazier things than that. I drank tea, while I was drinking cold juice. Of course I'd get cramps, though I can't understand why it occurs now.

«« death taking place -- prisoned by life »»