KOMOTION’S POEM (Heaven Through These Eyes)
a single tree sits by a stream,
surrounded by a field of gold/
the stream trickles along towards,
a place that's still unknown/
a light wind flows over my body,
as i lie within the field untold/
my heart beat slows,
as my contentment grows,
for in my grasp is peace i hold/
even as i close my eyes,
a city in the distance glows/
with hope so bright,
it lights up the skies,
here, darkness has no home/
there is no sun, nor there a moon/
yet my eyes gaze at the eternal; of,
this field of dreams that soothes/
stretching out into celestial bodies
is this heaven or just my mind?
is this where i am to find;
a solace that calms even time?
a place made where souls reside;
where hopes and dreams may intertwine
i pray for all to see this place,
as words could never describe/
the beauty of these lands embrace,
the land where heaven resides/
T'is a vision for those who hide/
from the chaos of this reality//
a land that births sweet serenity//
where the sleepless can finally lie/
where the meager may find sanctuary//
and all desperation will subside/
if you could only see what i see
if you could only see through these eyes...
Hey I have a wish
You just needa give your wand a swish
I don’t want to waste my breath
I said I wished for death
No, I’m not being a drama queen
Nor is it in any way related to being a teen
Let me fall asleep and never wake up
Then my existence will cease to disrupt
My family I had wanted to poison
I thought maybe I would never be forgiven ( probably )
Getting arsenic mailed causes suspicion
Or maybe some meds I could have stolen
The simplicity of an ending I once believed
Now I know ain’t that easy achieved
Don’t say I’m a coward
‘cos ‘tis just the life that flowered
You can insist otherwise
My reaction shouldn’t be of much of a surprise
With you I haven’t needed to put on a disguise
Yet you turned out just the same as the others likewise
Don’t judge till you’ve worn my shoes and walked a thousand miles
I really wanna make you be happy so I’d give you all smiles
Chill! In the end everyone dies
Before that maybe give me some fries ( I love potatoes! )
Maybe also use your knife and give me a slice
You know to me it’s a prize
Life is a game that's hard to play
It will still happen one day so why delay
Here in this lonely night I pray
Soon in the casket I might lay
To all my dearest it’s okay
I had chosen it to be this way
Fine you can call me an ungrateful brat
I won’t let that in any way distract
I will still carry this out with no regret
I’m no longer going to live staying trapped
I’m sure now you’d just despise me further
Well in this universe I’m just an observer
Whoever created humans made an error
Live any longer, in other’s life I’m just a terror
I know you guys all hate me
I’ve accepted all ‘cos that’s true presumably
Though nowadays, not like I care
I’ve sunk down to the bottom of the well of despair
In me there’s a really huge tear
Of it I reckon I’m aware
It’s just that I’m not sure where
Anyways, it’s already too late to repair
I know this world is unfair
Fairness is actually indeed rare
But you know, humans just like things to be fair
It’s a trait we all share
There's no way my family and I can coexist
Hence why death I insist
The concept of ceasing to exist
Society has long learnt to resist
Instead this very idea I embrace
It drapes itself on me wherever I go, soft as lace
Once I’m gone everything will be erased
Just like I hoped, I will leave no trace
Things gonna hurt at first but time will heal
Really, isn’t all this ideal?
Maybe it’s just me
But that’s how I want things to be
In life all that I kept to myself in a seal
I cannot, and do not know how to bring myself to reveal
You’re right my heart is made of steel
To me though it’s no big deal
After I’m gone I won’t be worried
In death the truth will forever be buried
Dedicated to no one in particular
Death is the Only Option
It all starts without warning, a loved one or trusted authority thrusts a sharp dagger slicing deep into the child's innocent heart shattering its safe world of love with betrayal. A reflex pulls the heart away as the first painful emotion brings a fear of death and insecurity. Stunned in disbelief the child's mind scrambles to make sense of the puncture the heart has just sustained. Confused and unable to comprehend the assault, the child accepts full responsibility. Year after year the pattern continues, as trust becomes a distant memory.
Deep within solitude and far from discovery the mirror of the buried heart reflects failure and loneliness. The mind caught off guard responds with a legion of proof the inner voice is a lie. As time passes and silent to all others, the heart's once small whisper increases to a scream the mind can not suppress. Plunging into a darkness of conviction and despair a knowing of the failure permeates the body. Shocked by the inner betrayal, a rage is created that will not relent. Over and over you seek for the one to blame, but none can be found. Through desperate fear the mind has the solution. You are the one to blame.
The now silent heart slowly dies unaware of its gradual fate as despair trickles into the cold voids where the dream once lived. Day after day the darkness kills thoughts before they transform into action bringing a paralysis to life. Moving deeper and deeper into hopelessness, the childhood dream no longer exists. Replaced with a cold hatred that the song of lies was ever heard. Death is the only escape and love is a lie.
Their hope I shall take away
Shall I do this one fine day
Point the knife at their hearts
And cut them out
Let’s see whether they’re black, grey,
Bloody red
Or maybe even white
Those hearts beat
To the rhythm of the mind
Seeking to destroy
Whoever comes near
There it is,
The core of humankind
An entity of hearts that will never hear
Cries for help,
Shouts of angst.
Screams of fear,
Groans of pain
Shall I do this one fine day
Reach down their throats
And grab their hearts
Wipe them clean
And put them on a tray
Stick them with needles
And toss them a yard
Why the heart is even there I don’t know
Since without one they’re still good to go
That spot where it’d been was always hollow
Empty and poisonous and cold
There is naught to blame but only ourselves
We made this world the way it works
Though under the depth if you delve
You might find there’s more to humanity than jerks
The Caged Bird Sings
Dedicated to my parents, written for all the caged birds out there
The caged bird sings through the cold metal bars
The notes of melancholy echoing on the distant Mars
Its melody voicing the freedom it will never have
The calls for rescue reaching only the ears of the seemingly deaf
The caged bird sings through the cold metal bars
The notes of melancholy echoing on the distant Mars
The tune speaks of its heart filled with bitter pain
As it tried to free itself but in vain
The caged bird sings through the cold metal bars
The notes of melancholy echoing on the distant Mars
With wrath for the mortal and the iron it sobs
Beneath the crimson red plumage its heart throbs
The caged bird sings through the cold metal bars
The notes of melancholy echoing on the distant Mars
Its bleak eyes reflecting the soul laden with hate
Hunched and contorted under the weight
The caged bird sings through the cold metal bars
The notes of melancholy echoing on the distant Mars
One day finally arrives as it dawns
A path to freedom in which it acts on
The caged bird sings free of the cold metal bars
The notes of joy echoing on the distant Mars
Out into the tranquil night sky it soars
It has finally let go of the semblant ever-lasting inner wars
The caged bird sings free of the cold metal bars
The notes of joy echoing on the distant Mars
The happy bird doesn’t realize all that it sees is illusive
The truth is hard to postulate for the long-held captive
The caged bird sings free of the cold metal bars
The notes of joy echoing on the distant Mars
The happy bird doesn’t realize no element is sempiternal
The truth is the harsh mortal world has never been eternal
The caged bird sings free of the cold metal bars
The notes of joy echoing on the distant Mars
The happy bird bathes itself in a deception of bliss
The truth is it is tumbling down the unseen and unheard abyss
Thud.
The caged bird sings free of the cold metal bars The notes of joy echoing on the distant Mars
The roses are bleeding and the sky is crying
The wind howling and the happy bird dying
Dedicated to my parents, after my departure from Planet Earth
It's not my fault I didn't choose to be born
It's not your fault either so you don't have to mourn
It's something which both parties long knew
It has happened and I don't blame you
You might not realize but I was on my own
Through the journey of life I walked alone
You didn't like my attitude but I wasn't being rude
The stakes were too high to let you intrude
In my heart I knew you also had it rough
So I made my leave 'cos all this is enough
You draped me with an acid-soaked rug
When I need understanding like a drug
I don't know, maybe it's in our blood
But your words drowned me like a flood
All this while it felt like I was stuck
Maybe it could've gotten better with more luck
I think I just enclosed myself in a bubble
Because you know, I hate trouble
I don't know, that's just how everything goes
Maybe one day you'll have another child who knows
I wanted to, it's just that I cannot
To let go of the past that I never forgot
I apologize that it's now you have to wait until
But let me make it clear that words do kill
We have come to the end of my poems and ramblings from when I was a little girl of 9 years old through 12 years old. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.