What's the whole point of this meaningless pursuit of unachievable happiness and contentment? Every single day I drag my suicidal OCD ADHD autistic schizophrenic paranoid psychotic borderline ass around this trashy land devoid of any genuine connections beyond shallow superficial exchanges and force my way around my miserable existence. What am I supposed to do? Fix this shattered half dead empty shell and get my dumb malfunctioning misfiring neurons to scotch tape itself up so that I can be a whole functioning human again? I am built upon the wreckage of myself I don’t know where to start to pick up the pieces and keep myself from breaking.
I apologize. Dear mom and dad I am sorry utterly sorry for wasting your money like you bluntly put out I am sorry for this failed disappointment and how I will most probably never live to actually repay all your kindness and love of raising me up huh? I have tried y’all know, really hard to live I swear to GOD I did and I deserve nothing good in this world for all the sins I have committed that I will never forget my past or learn to move on and understand or accept love I will never do because of the way my brain is wired I hope you understand? I never wanted to bring this burden upon you because I am a disgusting evil spiteful person seeking revenge it’s just how my mind reacts to thing that happen? I don’t know how things work in my brain but I swear I never meant to