| I woke up this morning, feeling rather apathetic towards many things, as usual. I shaved, cutting myself no more than usual, got dressed, ate a breakfast that will eventually cause my death, and went off to class. I'm not sure why I bother with the whole routine, it gets slightly more pointless daily. Walking to classes, I was very angry, angry that I could not enjoy the falling leaves, think about them, or even just stare at them for more than a few seconds. Instead, I was busy contemplating how I was going to survive in this urban hell, this scholastic abomination. I don't even belong here. Thinking about the nice job I had going for me working at Crown Books, yeah it was menial, but at least it was easy. I'm tired of not knowing what I'm doing anymore. I want to be sure, not have to worry about all this grade bullshit. Right now I'm in the break section of my five class day, I won't be back again until about five o'clock, upon which I must start doing homework for which I have no passion. Reading Beowulf will not be bad, however, I enjoy reading books. I wish I could just lead a simple contemplative life, one where I could read, write, listen to music, enjoy my own being and existance. But you probably even need a degree to do that these days...har har. It's now the end of my day, 9:37 pm. I'm not actually going to bed, but instead going to do the final remnants of homework (I haven't really done any) and then going to maybe cry a bit, then take a shower and go to bed. My hair will remain unwashed, as usual, and it shall be greasy, as usual. Not much will have changed with the passing of this day, I suppose, except possibly my mood is less than happy. I thought about the past while eating, as well as myself (I'm a very bitter person sometimes I realize). It is very cold here at nights, there is an opening in my window which I cannot fix which allows it to be this way. Well, goodnight world, I'm sure tomorrow won't be any better, as I know from prior experience. |