I don't think anyone appreciates the music I do.  No one appreciates the depressing qualities of music, the way it can bring you so low, that although you're so far from the bottom in reality, you still feel like you're there.  Sinking softly to the ground. You think I'd be heartbroken, even miserable, but I'm not.  Rejection, ouch, yeah, oh well.  Thing of my past, present, and ftuure.  I guess you just get used to it, immune to it.  But, I just feel empty, lonely.  Went over to Tim's to watch two episodes of Neon Genesis Evengelion.  It's great.  He has very good taste, luck, or whatever.  It was good to do that, be there.  Amusing and necessary for a brief amount of time.  I wish those instants just watching and existing there wouldn't have ceased.  He got his internship too:  we're both on the fast track; yeah. Maybe I don't care that I got rejected because I don't know what to do anymore.  I have few ideas, insight into people or what to do with them.  I guess I didn't see a future anyway.  Or maybe I'm just telling myself this because it's actually eating me on the inside.  Who knows, who cares, certainly not her, at least on the level I want her to momentarily.  Brood brood brood.  sleep sleep.