rainy, late at night, and i'm eating butterscotch pudding and drinking orange sunkist.  my hair is all frazzled and
blown over the place from walking home from the physics exam, which was not as bad as i thought it was going to
be.  fresh from having a crush for an hour, i feel pretty good.  and it's not just because i've had two drinks from my
nearly empty rum bottle.   i'm going home tomorrow, planning on having a good weekend, watching an anime that i bought, playing a video game maybe.  should be fun. 
listening to animals on wheels nuvol i cadira right now.  fits the mood i'm in.  not fully-functionally depressed, but just slightly, along with a bit of up-beatedness for once.  nice instrumentals, and a bit introspective.  for once, it seems like a perfect evening.

listening to "rhubarb" off of aphex twin's selected ambient works volume two.  i remember listening to this song when i first got the cd back in sophomore year in high school, and staring out the bedroom window in the morning,
thinking to myself, when i get my own house, i'm going to have a balcony i can go outside and sit on, and i will
listen to this song, and everything will be fine.  that's a great dream.  if one of the few things that i wished for actually occurred, having that balcony with the ability to gaze out upon the frozen tundra and listen to music is one of my top ones to be granted.
midnight++.  perhaps my darkest hour.   i keep falling asleep while programming something <and not correctly>, and having stupid delusional happy fantasies with a totally different person than i'm infatuated with.  in fact, the dream
girl is some blonde girl i've never seen before.  i'm going to bed, i hate my life.