i was coming home from a friend's place yesterday night, and i decided to take the bus versus walking, because i was feeling a bout of laziness creep upon me.  on the bus, various drunken people boarded.  however, in their stupor, not one said anything to me.  i felt like i was invisible, so brilliantly invisible.  later on the trip home, some new couple got on the bus.  there's an elliott smith lyric that goes something like "someone's always bringing around here some new kill."  i think he was talking about relationships there, and the fragment made its way into my thoughts when i saw these two.  i don't know if they were intoxicated or not, but the boy kept feeling up the girl and the girl kept giggling stupidly.  it was really a horrible scene, but i found it quite amusing.  i remember a scene just like it out of catcher in the rye.  oddly enough, i was rereading that novel, and discovered i have the same room number as Holden Caufield did when he checked into his hotel.  lately, i've been getting alot of hatemail about this site.  most of it says that i'm some sort of depressed egotist and they plead with me to "just get it over with now."  first off, let me say that i have never felt better than i do right now.  although this is not my ideal situation, for some reason i must have excess amounts of melatonin or something being generated in my blood, because i feel content.  maybe it's because i know i have work over the summer, or that hopefully my extended ambitions will finally be reached, or perhaps it's because i have no exams next week.  whatever the reason, i feel perfectly fine and relaxed for the time being.  i do not miss my prior melancholia, but it feels like a part of me is missing.  but i am not afraid because it is almost certain to come back rather soon.  we'll see.  fade out, fade out again.