| i didnt want to forget this.
listening to rems 'sweetness follows' looking outside my window at
the buildings. its
not a dark day, or a light day...just one of those winter days where everything seems shrouded with gray clouds which partially block out the sun. there's lights blinking on one of the buildings i'm looking at. it's been doing that since i woke up this morning and watched it. i wonder if that means anything is wrong with it...or even better...why is it blinking? there are alot of buildings here that i have no idea what they do. they just look interesting. i was looking through my wallet while eating cereal for lunch. i dont like any of the ID pictures i have...i dont like any pictures i have. not photogenic i guess? or just not good looking. either way. i dont really care. looking through the pockets in my coat, found a stub of movie ticket which i had written my cousins url on...the ticket was for princess mononoke. i remember seeing that film. it was during thanksgiving break. it was a fun time, i had a good time at that. the movie wasn't the greatest, but just being, just doing things was good. tim and paul are good friends. i recall more now, at first i couldn't, but now i can remember more. i remember going home afterwards, being dropped off by tim and his suburban futility vehicle. seeing my mom making something to eat for thanksgiving i presume. remember eating some sort of round greasy thing with pecan or raspberry filling in the middle. it was very hot, but good, a bit too greasy. i have a physics exam tomorrow. its laughable sometimes. i woke up this morning scared, annoyed that i had to take a course, and that i could not understand it to the degree which was expected of me. i am not getting parts of it...can't put it together. i'll probably do less than average, but even out with the curve. im hoping. now the suns out a bit. got to go to class. was searcihng for meaning in my life. i live for the fear of the test? the anxiety? is that what defines me? im not sure. |