| 9:24 pm. the completion
of my two tests has been established. the mental freedom not to continue
thinking about one certain subject, idea, is very refreshing and liberating.
i have been dancing like an uptight businessman for the past ten minutes
or so to a bass heavy autechre song. i am very tired and my head
is very heavy--it's currently leaning against the side of my dresser, the
hard plasti-wood corner slightly digging into my skull, the pain is slight,
but necessary because if i try to move my head i feel more exhausted than
before.
i broke a glass today during breakfast. the sound was terrible, one of the things i hate most hearing, slightly less than screaming. i also hate breaking dishes, because when you do so they are gone...permanently damaged. there can be no repair, no bringing back to 'face value.' it was very odd, though, at home, breaking a glass was like "we only have so many of those styles left!" here, it was nothing out of the ordinary, no deal was made....someone applauded in very fine sarcastic manner...thanks whoever you were. i quickly left the cafeteria after breaking said juice glass. the look of spattered glass on the floor was more than i could handle at the moment. it wasn't there when i went back for lunch, yet no one in the staff even noticed that i had dropped it. 12:17am. not doing much. listening to boards of canada 'music has the right to children.' i don't recall anything else of odd significance or jaded importance in my mind...maybe my life is as pointless as i perceive it to be...again, time shall tell one day. i just wish i knew when it was. again, repeating myself, i wish for a lot of things. |