the past few days, i've went to bed, and woken in what seemed like minutes later, only to discover hours had passed and i should be waking up soon to attend university lectures anyway. it's disconcerting, really, to not even know you've blacked out for several hours at a time and wake up in a position different than that of lying down in. there are no dreams to remember, either. even in a temporary, comalike state, i'm still cradled in nothingness. even though i want to remember dreams, i can't. lately, i've been wondering what the point of my life is. like any good existential partially self-loathing fellow, i want to do something with my life that's "important," "meaningful," and this and that and etc. of course, the problem is that "important" and "meaningful" are rather vague notions that i can't add any meaning to. it's a shame, really, to not know what you want to do with yourself for all of eternity. maybe if i had a purpose, life wouldn't seem quite unbearable at times. i'm going nowhere fast, so to speak. "But you know you're going nowhere Like so many of your age This has gone on far too long now To be dismissed as another phase ... I don't want to break your heart, I don't want to let you down It's just that I always thought Life would be more than just Going nowhere somehow."