third floor corpoate megacenter introspection today is my last day at work. there is nothing left to do but clean up pages and add attractive html colors to please my managers ever-sensitive palette. sometimes i wonder why i bothered to come in at all, especially today. half of the team i worked with doesn't bother to come in on fridays (they "work" from home). others decided to take personal vacations, go home early, etc. one person dropped in to say goodbye, but even then i had to wonder if it was sincere or not. i doubt many human emotions are sincere these days. everything is expected, such as you expect the cashier at a local store to have a big smile and say "thank you" when you check-out. it's all such a lie, knowing from experience (i used to be a cashier at a bookstore), you're told to say those things, so that people come back later-you don't actual feel or even want to wish them anything. sometimes you with the opposite, if they were a rude customer. you'd rather them be dead than shopping. i'm listening to fizzarum's "microphorous" right now. initially i didn't like the music at all, but this song is quite alright with a melancholic keyboard tones and experimental electronic glitch all over the place with a hollow drum. if i were the type to cry anymore, this might be the song to do it at a particular moment. school begins after this weekend. the break went by quickly, and i did nothing in it. certainly, i worked, i earned close to $2000 in four weeks, but still, i didn't "do" anything outside of this environment. it was a complete waste of time. the few times i "did" something were early on, when i drove past a girl's house that i had a crush on in high school. yeah, it's pathetic, but what else was i to do? i was bored. and no, i'm not some odd stalker. i don't care enough to bother trying that hard. it was just something to pass time, something to do out of the ordinary. something mildy "thrilling" in my otherwise trite suburban life. hrmmmmm. university. i do not look forward to going back to thee. it's more "exciting" than being at home, but much more stressful as well. i suppose i learn more about myself and stimulate the creative processes more, but at the expense of my sanity/mental health.