11/20/00 this morning, i listened to aphex twin's selected ambient works 2, disc 1, track 3 while getting dressed. it was snowing lightly outside, and the gentle tones of the song were able to make me feel at peace for a few moments before the song ended. 11/22/00 it feels odd, being here with my entire family. it feels wrong to me. when i wake up in the morning, four other people will awaken at the same time, do similar things, and generally inhabit the same space as me. for some reason, i don't want to deal or think about this at all. when i wake up tomorrow, i want everyone to be gone, i want to eat my breakfast alone, and i'd like to take the day as i see fit. 11/24/00 "we hadn't the pleasure now of feeling we were starting a new life, only a sense of dragging on into a future full of new troubles."-hanif kureishi the flies i'm tired of thinking about that, or things like that. i want to have adventures. i suppose that's the young male part of me. i'm aimless...you know this when wandering from city to city seems like a good idea. i can't find happiness in much these days, and it's limited overall as well, it seems.