i never wanted this work is getting a bit tiring. coworkers begin to get on my nerves even though i never see their faces. instead, i hear their horrible conversations about stock prices, houses, and ego-stroking stories. i had a dream last night where i killed a person inside a police station, and spent the rest of my life wandering around the police station, with no one ever asking me what i was doing there or if i had killed that person in the police station. i was never found guilty, and yet i spent the rest of my life walking halls. i had convicted myself, and i knew that unless i became some sort of immortal superpowered villain, i could never kill anyone else, no matter if humanity deserves to perish. it's a bit amusing, i was driving to work today, and i realized that humanity is implementing it's own extinction date. with every species we kill off and environmental disaster we create, we're effectively sealing our tomb and writing our epitaph. it's amusing, really, when you realize that humanity is basically trying to go full circle, to off itself just as it was created, that it craves chaos and finality as a combined civilization. i'll be long dead when humans cease to exist at least in the numbers we know of, . tonight was oddly picturesque as i worked (earning too much for what i do) and realized that i am not smart enough to stay for long at the job i am at, if i were ever hired professionally. yet, i didn't care. i know i won't be working anywhere for long once they learn i'm of no use to them. then, on the rush hour go nowhere traffic ride home, i felt oddly content with the thousands of red brake lights staring intently at me. before going home, i remembered that i had to buy some stamps to make up for the new postage rate. so i ended up buying one cent stamps in the pale moonglight. quite nice in a porcelian, too fragile sort of way. i think i'm going insane. or just losing my writing ability. both are likely.