CartesianSonata: people suck. diseuphoricboy: you're just noticing this now? CartesianSonata: i always knew. CartesianSonata: i don't know why i have to reconfirm it so goddam much. diseuphoricboy: because life is repetition by nature? CartesianSonata: it goes in smaller and smaller circles these days. diseuphoricboy: basically. we're confined to smaller and smaller circles these days as well. CartesianSonata: i can't connect. with anyone. isn't that what life is supposed to be about...? diseuphoricboy: if you're a pessimist, y es. CartesianSonata: if you're an optimist? diseuphoricboy: life is full of connections waiting to be made CartesianSonata: ah. diseuphoricboy: i think diseuphoricboy: then there are waders inbetween as well. pole sitters. CartesianSonata: i think that it is impossible to completely and utterly know someone, therefore  impossible to truly connect. diseuphoricboy: i couldn't agree more. diseuphoricboy: i'm pretty sure i've written on the topic as well. diseuphoricboy: what makes you say this, thougH? CartesianSonata: i just went out with these people tonight and they just sort of brought into focus an entire week of feeling alienated from every single human being i came into contact with....this isn't your garden variety alienation, mind you. diseuphoricboy: i have those experiences. what were said people like? CartesianSonata: these people dressed up for halloween and went to this movie, the exorcist, i couldn't even talk to them- i couldn't think of anything to say that meant anything at all. then this girl would say, "don't say anything man" and i was just like "i'm gonna walk home while you wait for the bus" it was a five mile walk. then as i neared my dorm these people yelled out of their dorm "hey fucker why you walking alone? don't have any friends? gonna go home and jack off?" it didn't bother me, but it just solidified my absolute hate for the act of actually attempting to ape the motions of a normal human being i.e. that i actually like people in any capacity. diseuphoricboy: i just got off the phone diseuphoricboy: but...i can't talk to people diseuphoricboy: there would be these moments of dead silence. very awkward. CartesianSonata: know that feeling. diseuphoricboy: besides, i don't even know why i bother. she already has a boyfriend. and when it comes down to it, that's the only reason i'm interested in meeting members of the opposite sex anymore. fuck friendship, males are much better for that. CartesianSonata: very true. diseuphoricboy: then i get that fight club quote in my head "we're a generation of men raised by women, and i'm wondering if another woman is really the answer" CartesianSonata: i think we'd both like to believe that some girl could make it all better. diseuphoricboy: yes. very much so. diseuphoricboy: if you can't experience anything, it's better than experiencing "nothing" diseuphoricboy: to be not conscious is to not feel pain nor happiness, nor to need them CartesianSonata: true. diseuphoricboy: so we're at a fork in the road. diseuphoricboy: the question we must ask is "where to go from here"? CartesianSonata: i ask that question everyday of my life. diseuphoricboy: and are you able to find an answer? CartesianSonata: no. diseuphoricboy: just a temporary solution? CartesianSonata: no, i just meander about just living this life that is essentially meaningless and without direction. diseuphoricboy: yes. same here. diseuphoricboy: i find temporary solutions. but the time is nearing where i must find something more substantial. CartesianSonata: i can go on for much longer, i believe, but who knows how much longer i can take this....who knows, who cares. whatever. diseuphoricboy: i was thinking of starting my own terrorist organization diseuphoricboy: but that seemed kind of pointless diseuphoricboy: i don't care about others that much CartesianSonata: haha. diseuphoricboy: it's true. so what if we actually stop the masses from being ignorant and brainwashed by tv and society. what good will it do them? CartesianSonata: not much. diseuphoricboy: exactly.