2:53 pm i worked most of last night and this morning on a paper for history-i don't think i put as much effort into it as i could have...but then again, i was rather unsure of what was expected in the paper...very confused.  listening to autechre's envane currently.  the mixed crunches and higher tones float by wonderfully.  very relaxing after a somewhat hectic afternoon.  assembling rockman x figures as well that i received in the mail the other day...of       course i paid too much for them.  it's very bright and warm here today, this baffles me because it is november        essentially...  3:49 listening to himuro "nichiyobi" after a brutal and unfair loss in goldeneye...i'm...so...angry...  5:02 now elliott smith's xo is on the rotating tray...fitting music for such a day as this.  i don't know what to do...very confused.  7:26 haven't done any homework yet.  listening to a cd of which is of little consequence.  the little vacuum inside my stomach has created an empty feeling there.  not much subsistance to go on, a blankness of thought, desire.  i've got it very good here, why am i not trying harder to succeed, why am i unhappy.  i wish i could figure these things out.  people email me sometimes and tell me not to be 'depressed.'  yeah there's some good advice.  it's not like the way i feel is a coat and that i can just take it off when i want to...something has to make it go away, and that is not happening too much anymore...actually it hasn't in quite a while.  well, i'm going to start the old homework now.  goodnight.