Well, September is over.  I spent the entire month here in school, going to classes, wasting free time online, spending accumulated savings which were inteded for something bigger, better, more meaningful.  To quote a Robin episode "a whole fucking year, down the drain."  It has certainly has felt like a year has passed since university began again, and it's not been more than a month and two weeks.  I constantly think about how I will survive two and half more months of this routine/ritual, before I have another extended break.  I remember how hopeful I was during the summer that this year would be better, that things would improve, that *something* at least halfway decent would happen.  I nearly convinced myself of it too, somehow, though I'm not quite sure how it happened.  Now I'm relatively sure nothing good will ever come of this place, or of my time spent here.  It's just a void, a big empty nothing, like me. I remember one Friday night two weeks ago, Tim asked told me "...I don't understand how you can do homework on a Friday night."  At the time, I was slightly dumbfounded, and didn't have an answer besides the nonconfrontational "I don't know" I usually manage to spit out.  Today, I was running over the question in my mind, and I finally have the answer:  I have nothing else to do.  Tim has the ability to play Counterstrike or some other computer game all night.  I don't have a licensed version of the game, nor am I as good at it as he.  I've browsed the internet of anything of interest in days prior, and my daily searches for "idm ___" yield nothing.  We eat at 5, there's no need to eat any later; I'm not hungry.  I could go to the bars to amuse myself with the antics of drunk people, but there is an entry charge, and lush patrons don't spill out the doors until 2am, normally, which is a long time to wait for anyone to amuse me.  I don't have friends who have any better ideas, or so it seems.  Not that I have that many friends anyway.  Not that it matters.  The campus has little in the way of events that I would find particularly interesting.  I hate television, and I've watched any movies I enjoy to the point of boredom and mere repetition.  I'm also often broke due to the support of my music addiction.  So, what is there left to do?  Absolutely nothing but turn on the headphones and a non-demanding album, turn on a light, and do homework in order to kill my time until I fall asleep.  This is the first weekend in some time where I don't have any exams until later in the week, and I'm finding myself wishing I had something to worry/study for.  In the words of Elliott Smith, "help me kill my time, because I'll never be fine..."